Packing

“I'll never get it all in” cried Janet making me regret that this is a family blog. As seasoned cruisers we've got packing down to a fine art. For about two weeks before departure, our dining room looks increasingly like an unsuccessful charity shop as piles of possessions build up on every available surface. Two days before we leave Janet checks everything off on a list that has been honed by years of “guess what we've forgotten this time” and then packs it into our three well worn suitcases. Surprisingly, we've never been to the Arctic in winter before and this time there is an additional pile of snow boots, thermal underwear, wet weather trousers, scarves, gloves, lumberjack hats with hairy ear flaps, Salopettes and other “stuff”.

Digressing for a moment, did you know that Salopettes only come in one leg size? The lady in the first shop told me that as I stood there looking like my legs had been amputated at the knees. Four more shops and a trawl of the internet later, I believed her. Apparently you're supposed to concertina the legs up but it's not a good look unless you're the Michelin man. Anyway I eventually got pair for the amazing price of £19.50. They've got a detachable top and the double layers of water and wind poof fabric are stuffed with enough insulation to do a small loft. I don't know how they make them for the price unless there's a local authority grant for the insulation.

I searched the loft and found four of the kids' old sports bags quietly decomposing in a corner. I picked out the least offensive and scrubbed off most of the mud and DNA so that we could use it to hold all our cold weather gear. Everything will smell faintly of liniment and jock-straps but that should be OK as long as we stay well clear of any huskies. The “stuff” we had to pack included two sets of walking poles, with more accessories than Batman’s utility belt, and two hot water bottles to fit the secret pockets inside our Berghaus coats. Janet bought a pair of heated gloves that flattened batteries at such an alarming rate that she had to buy some rechargeable ones.

Disappointed with the gloves, she then brought a box of 80 hand warmers which are magical sachets of gel that when activated stay hot for up to eight hours. In test walks she has concealed up to six of these about her person although she won't tell me where she puts them. We've also got insulated stainless steel mugs and a flask. It was only on the coach that I started to worry what might happen when the sports bag went though the x-ray machine at Southampton. The stainless steel cylinders, the packets of gel, the batteries in the charger with it's digital display and the wires from Janet's iPod might all look uncomfortably like a bomb.

“Hello, hello Sir, do you own a sports bag” --- “Yes Officer” --- “ Black, smells a bit funny, really got our sniffer dog going” --- “Er, yes Officer, that's probably the one” --- “Well I'm afraid we've had to open it with a controlled explosion Sir. If you'll just step into our examination bay, I'd like you to identify the contents. Mind how you go Sir, it's a bit of a mess in there, everything's covered in sticky goo and bits of insulation.”

Dave
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